Bum Cigar Day

Sooner or later, it's bound to happen: Each cigar you grab on that rare day will have a problem, leaving you with a tray of ash and no satisfaction. Statistical probabilities are so that even your most reputable cigars will have problems, and those problems will eventually coincide on the same day. I had that day yesterday.

The first was an afternoon cigar, as I strolled to the office to catch up on a couple things. I hadn't smoked this Dominican brand yet, but had smoked others from the same manufacturer, and so was reasonably confident as to it's quality. I even had someone tell me the night before that I would enjoy that cigar.

I toasted it up on the doorstep, got it lit, then started walking. Right away, the flavor was harsh, grating, and reminded me of a gigantic maduro Marlborough. I toughed it out, thinking that maybe the first half inch or so may be unhappy. It didn't stop there. The burn went all over the place, so I dropped ash after an inch, and retorched the foot to even it up.

It STILL tasted nasty, like a biker-bar ashtray. Another torturous inch later, I needed to ash and touch up the burn again. I'm getting closer to the office, and hoping that this cigar will start tasting better. No such luck. With a block left to walk, I let the cigar die, putting it out of my misery.

Work got done, I got some Chinese take-out for the family, and so elapsed the rest of the evening. I'm looking forward to tucking the kids in bed, and then pulling out another cigar, hoping it would make up for the dud of the afternoon.

Finally, the kids are put to bed, and I pulled the Nicaraguan beauty out of the box. Smelled tasty, and the wrapper tasted mildly sweet as I wet the cap a bit. After punching the cap, I noticed that the draw was a little tight, but the cold draw flavors still encouraged some enthusiasm. I gave the cigar a preemptive poke through the filler's center, then hunted up my torch.

I got her toasted, and started herfing away, while reading a Calculus textbook. The flavors were nice, but the draw seemed to tighten, so I massaged the cigar a bit, and kept the smoke flowing. For some reason, the fillers seemed reluctant to burn, or at least less inclined to burn than the wrappers.

I ended up with a Vesuvius-sized cone emerging from the wobbly burn line. No matter how I tried to correct it, the volcano would persist. I say volcano, because there was a shaft/void down the center of the cone, like a volcano.

The flavors were good, when I could get any smoke out of it. After 30 minutes of fighting with it, I pitched it behind the garage.

Two different cigars, two bitter disappointments. I think there were some obvious and not so obvious construction quirks at work against me. 'Tis a shame they had to coincide and ruin an otherwise pleasant day.