Bum Cigar Day

Sooner or later, it's bound to happen: Each cigar you grab on that rare day will have a problem, leaving you with a tray of ash and no satisfaction. Statistical probabilities are so that even your most reputable cigars will have problems, and those problems will eventually coincide on the same day. I had that day yesterday.

The first was an afternoon cigar, as I strolled to the office to catch up on a couple things. I hadn't smoked this Dominican brand yet, but had smoked others from the same manufacturer, and so was reasonably confident as to it's quality. I even had someone tell me the night before that I would enjoy that cigar.

I toasted it up on the doorstep, got it lit, then started walking. Right away, the flavor was harsh, grating, and reminded me of a gigantic maduro Marlborough. I toughed it out, thinking that maybe the first half inch or so may be unhappy. It didn't stop there. The burn went all over the place, so I dropped ash after an inch, and retorched the foot to even it up.

It STILL tasted nasty, like a biker-bar ashtray. Another torturous inch later, I needed to ash and touch up the burn again. I'm getting closer to the office, and hoping that this cigar will start tasting better. No such luck. With a block left to walk, I let the cigar die, putting it out of my misery.

Work got done, I got some Chinese take-out for the family, and so elapsed the rest of the evening. I'm looking forward to tucking the kids in bed, and then pulling out another cigar, hoping it would make up for the dud of the afternoon.

Finally, the kids are put to bed, and I pulled the Nicaraguan beauty out of the box. Smelled tasty, and the wrapper tasted mildly sweet as I wet the cap a bit. After punching the cap, I noticed that the draw was a little tight, but the cold draw flavors still encouraged some enthusiasm. I gave the cigar a preemptive poke through the filler's center, then hunted up my torch.

I got her toasted, and started herfing away, while reading a Calculus textbook. The flavors were nice, but the draw seemed to tighten, so I massaged the cigar a bit, and kept the smoke flowing. For some reason, the fillers seemed reluctant to burn, or at least less inclined to burn than the wrappers.

I ended up with a Vesuvius-sized cone emerging from the wobbly burn line. No matter how I tried to correct it, the volcano would persist. I say volcano, because there was a shaft/void down the center of the cone, like a volcano.

The flavors were good, when I could get any smoke out of it. After 30 minutes of fighting with it, I pitched it behind the garage.

Two different cigars, two bitter disappointments. I think there were some obvious and not so obvious construction quirks at work against me. 'Tis a shame they had to coincide and ruin an otherwise pleasant day.

Gurkha Grand Age

Gurkha Grand Age perfecto
$3 (CBid), Size: 6", Ring: 60
Cameroon wrapper, Nicaraguan binder, Nicaraguan and Peruvian fillers

The Grand Age is proclaimed as Gurkha's first cigar with a Cameroon wrapper, and this wrapper's a beauty: Dark, glossy, and some veins, with an aroma of wood and coffee. While smoking, the burn needed fixing a couple times, but the ash was solid and silvery, dropping after 2 inches. The smoke was thick and lush.

The cigar sprang to life immediately, with warm and spicy wood flavors at the start, similar to a Cusano CC. After the first inch, a leathery undertone arrived and stayed for the rest of the smoke. Hints of roast red peppers came in mid-cigar, then mellowed again to the basic wood-leather flavor (similar to an Indian Tabac Cameroon Legend). The last third brought a spicy ligero flavor to the fore. This was a tasty cigar.

Alas, there were some problems from the outset, mainly dealing with the aforementioned Cameroon wrapper. My cigar was split near the cap before cutting, and the problems got worse. After cutting, a section of wrapper, near the cap, split off, leaving the binder showing. I was able to position my lips enough while drawing on the cigar to alleviate some of the problems.

Then, one-third into the cigar, the wrapper started splitting and flaking in other areas. I tried to moisten the wrapper more around those areas to keep the wrapper from completely flaking off. As the smoke went on, the cigar's wrapper gradually deteriorated, splitting and cracking, until, in the final third, I had sizable fissures in the cigar, enough to kill the draw and end the smoke. I had to give it up almost an inch earlier than I would have liked.

Sometimes, bad things happen to good cigars. It's doubly hard when it happens to an expensive cigar, even if you get it cheap. It may have been comical to watch me struggle to keep this cigar together long enough to smoke it, but the flavors were well worth the effort. I'd love to try this one again, if it will have me.

Update, 1/13/08 : The next Grand Age I smoked was fine, construction-wise. I believe the difference was dry-boxing it for a couple days prior to smoking. And it was still delicious!

Velvet Cigar smoked a Grand Age in May 2007.

Sherpa Founder's Choice 2002

Sherpa Founder's Choice 2002 toro
$13/5 pk., Size: 6", Ring: 50
Sumatran wrapper, Dominican binder, Nicaraguan filler.

I must admit, I had some expectations of this cigar: It's a Gurkha sub-brand, it's made by Carlos Toraño, it should be good. The wrapper was a tawny color, smooth, but telegraphing some serious veins, and a pre-light sniff was greeted with the smell of dry grass.

I punched away 60% of the cap, and did a quick draw test. The Sherpa has the loosest draw I've had yet, like the cigar wasn't even there. So, I whipped out the Quantum to get it toasting, and the cigar obliged quickly and politely.

The first inch was harsh and grassy, with some hints of grass and a medium grassy finish. I was being mindful not to pull too hard, given that the draw was so loose, and still got some harshness. After the first inch, the flavor rounded off a bit to a smooth grass flavor, with an aftertaste of lawn clippings. I think you get the picture.

So, I'm an inch and a half into the cigar, and I decide that, like a true Sherpa, I would finish the journey. Just for you, dear reader. No sacrifice is too great.

Alas, just as I was getting to the two-inch point, the cigar extinguished itself. It hadn't even dropped ash yet. So, I took it as a sign of God's infinite mercy and let it be.

As I was squeezing and rolling the cigar, to get the band off, the wrapper flaked off into oblivion. So, I decided to do a little post-mortem on the extinguished Sherpa. Contrary to the predominant flavoring, I can attest to there being tobacco in the cigar, as well as some long, hard, twig-like stems. I just chucked the corpse after the autopsy, band and all.

Somewhere, out there, is a man who loves a grassy cigar. All I can say is, "Buddy, the Sherpa is just for you."